Top 5 Taylor Swift Break-Up Anthems

Pop-country songstress Taylor Swift has finally confirmed that she will bring her RED stadium tour to Australia and New Zealand this summer, making her the first female solo artist in 20 years to headline Stadiums across the country. Swift will perform at Sydney’s Allianz Stadium on December 4, before playing at Brisbane’s Suncorp Stadium on December 7, Perth’s NIB Stadium on December 11 and Melbourne’s Etihad Stadium on December 14. Each venue holds over 45 000 fans, and Swift can be expected to add more dates according to demand. To prepare you for impending Swiftie-fever in the coming months, here are the Top 5 Taylor Swift break-up anthems for the Kübler-Ross five stages of grief.

1. Denial - Forever and Always

Forever and Always appeared on Swift‘s second album, Fearless. Written about the singer’s untimely break-up with Disney boy Joe Jonas of the Jonas Brothers (who infamously ended things via text message), this is the first in a notorious series of personal revenge tracks written by Swift in response to her heartbreak at the hands of famous male stars. For a nasty break-up with someone who didn’t turn out to be Prince (or Princess) Charming after all, we prescribe ice-cream and a sing, scream and cry-along to this track in your bedroom.

2. Anger - I Knew You Were Trouble

If laughing at the goat cover of this track doesn’t cheer you up, dwell unapologetically in your blind hatred and fury to the uncharacteristically dubstep beats of Swift’s recent single, I Knew You Were Trouble. This track has proven effectiveness, being the first of Swift’s songs to reach #1 on the Billboard Adult Pop Songs chart and being certified triple platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America. The song could possibly apply to Swift’s previous rage target of Dear John fame, John Mayer, or her more recent break-up with One Direction darling Harry Styles. Does it matter? What matters is that they never loved you or her, or anyone, or anything. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

3. Bargaining - The Story of Us

The Story of Us is one of Speak Now’s pop-leaning tracks, and documents Swift’s miserable encounter with an ex-boyfriend (again, most probably, Mayer) at the 2010 CMT Awards. Swift begins the song by addressing the mystery man with a reflection on how she thought she’d tell the story of how they fell in love to people in the future, before snapping back to the present and bemoaning the reality of their separation. Sing out the bridge, bargainers – “The battle’s in your hands now / but I would lay my armour down / if you’d say you’d rather love than fight!”

4. Depression - Last Kiss

Another strike for Joe Jonas comes on the Speak Now track, Last Kiss. Swift has a well-known habit of hiding secret messages with capitalised letters through the lyric books in her albums, and the hidden message in Last Kiss‘ lyrics is FOREVER AND ALWAYS. According to “hardcore archivists”, Swift flew to Dallas for a Jonas Brothers show on July 9, 2008, which fits with the lyrics “I ran off the plane / that July 9th / the beat of your heart”. Indulge your heartbreak and sadness by wailing away to Last Kiss - “So I’ll watch your life in pictures / like I used to watch you sleep / and I’ll feel you forget me / like I used to feel you breathe”. SOB.

5. Acceptance - We Are Never Getting Back Together

That’s right, leak all of the poison out, girlfriend. When you’re finally feeling better, put your onesie and hipster glasses on, throw a big party and sing the victory out at the top of your lungs. Need we say more? Oh, um…

“Ugh, so he calls me up last night and he’s like “I still love you”, and I’m like… “I just…I mean this is exhausting, you know, like,
we are never getting back together. Like, ever. NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Of course, if you are blissfully happy (well, fine then, good for you) – we recommend the following Swift happy love joy anthems.

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